As someone who has been devoted to self development and a spiritual journey for most of my life, you'd think I'd be someone who has always understood the ego versus the soul. I wish I could tell you that this was something I figured out early on. If it was, I would have made this post years ago! Truthfully, the explanation about which is which came to me recently while doing a reading for a client. I was in my zone, in almost a trace-like state when the phrase came to me: "the soul is the tortoise, the ego is the hare."
In case you are not familiar with the children's story of the tortoise and the hare, I'll give you a brief synopsis. A hare challenges a tortoise to a race after teasing the tortoise about how much faster he is. During the race, the hare darts ahead with lightening speed compared to the tortoise. The hare becomes so confident that he'll win the race that he decides to stop for a while and go to sleep. While the hare is asleep, the tortoise slowly but surely without giving up, makes his way along the course and beats the hare in the race.
This story is the perfect example of ego (anxiety) versus soul (intuition). The difference between the ego and the soul is not that one is the right answer and one is the wrong answer about how to achieve a desired goal or outcome. Both the ego and the soul represent an inner knowing of our desires, just as the tortoise and the hare both knew that the end goal of the race was to cross the finish line. The difference between the ego and the soul is the sense of urgency.
I'm going to quote myself from my client's reading below, as I believe it's the best way I can describe the ego versus the soul. Because I wrote this in my trance-like state, the flow was effortless and trying to recreate that would be moot,
"The ego is loud and urgent. The soul is soft and never rushed. The difference between intuition and ego is that while both can recognize that a change is necessary, the ego is in a rush to change / fix it all right now. The ego wants to rush to completion, outcomes, decisions, and choices. The ego repeats 'We have to change this now. This has to end now. I need to release this now. I have to do this now' all day, every day. The ego is the voice in our heads that, if unchecked, will wake us up from a dead sleep with racing thoughts and a stomach ache.
The soul on the other hand, says 'change is inevitable and something I desire at this time. What is one thing I can do right now to get me one step closer to this change without derailing my life in the process?' The soul prefers to work step by step. The soul lowers the stakes and lets situations play out so that we can learn about ourselves and make intentional choices as the shift occurs.
When we act on our anxiety and jump to conclusions or make rash decisions, we often do that egoically because of the urgency of it all. Our anxiety overpowers the need to think things through. Anxiety and ego pushes us to leap, and then we look back with either regret or 2020 hindsight, noticing that if we had just calmly let the situation unfold or made one small choice at a time, we may have ended up in less stressful situations on the other side."
When we live by our souls we make intentional life choices while remaining calm, balanced, and present along the way. The brick-by-brick approach of the soul prevents making rash decisions based on a 'gut feeling' that is, most of the time, anxiety misinterpreted as intuition. So often we hear 'intuition is your gut feeling,' when in reality, anxiety manifests in the gut as knots or aches all the time. It's important to note that while your gut may be trying to tell you something, urgent repetitive thoughts and impulsive reactions to it are anxiety-based.
Even when something is not in alignment with us and we know that we need to find a way out of the situation, the soul will not encourage a blind leap of faith if the jump will put us in even more distress. The soul will encourage a one-step-at-a-time approach to ensure that we are thoughtful in our decision making. For example, say a person desires to leave a living situation because they do not enjoy the environment where they live. They are in a lease agreement and their paycheck to paycheck job is local. The person has had a desire to live in a different state for a while, and because they no longer enjoy where they are, they decide they want to move to the new state. Let's break down an ego-based thought process versus a soul-based thought process:
Ego: "I don't like living here anymore. In fact, I hate this state. I've always wanted to live in that state instead. The weather there is so much better and there is so much more to do. Now that I think of it, I can't wait another minute to get out of here. I hate this place. I need a change of scenery as fast as possible. I'm going to start searching for a home in the new state. As soon as I find a place, I'm quitting my job, packing my bags, and breaking my lease. I'll figure out a new job when I arrive to my new home. I'm sure I'll need to make up the money but I can use credit cards to get myself into my new home and get by until I'm back on my feet. I'll sell some of my valuables to pay the fines for breaking my lease. I really love my valuables, but I'm willing to sell them for money to change my circumstances as quickly as I can. Anything is better than how unhappy I have become in this place. I'll be so much happier once I get to my new home in a new state. I'll figure it all out when I get there."
Soul: "I'm starting to realize that where I currently live is not for me. I've outgrown my surroundings and I'd like to experience life in a new environment. I've always wanted to live in that state instead. I love the weather there, and the social scene. I think this is the time to start to bring that desire to life. I still have a few months left of my lease and my job is local, so moving right now doesn't feel like the right time. I want to make sure I fulfill my current housing commitment, as well as build up a savings to cover move-in fees, a few months' rent, and travel expenses once I find a new home in my new state. I want to avoid racking up credit card debt. If I moved now I would be in financial distress, and that would make the move really hard. I would have so much to pay for that enjoying the social scene would be impossible. I'm going to use the next few months to apply to some places that I'd find enjoyable to live in, build up a savings, and send my resume out to some places of employment in my new state. I want to be able to enjoy myself when I get there, so despite being unhappy now, I am going to stay put until the time is right. Making new choices with an intention of doing everything in preparation for this move will ease my impatience. Even though I don't like my circumstances, having this goal in mind makes my day-to-day more enjoyable because I am working towards something important to me. I know I'll get to my new state when the time is right, and this extra time to plan ahead is a blessing."
Both the ego and the soul know that there is a desire for new living conditions. The difference in reaction and therefore experience is the sense of urgency. The ego may want this person to move now but that choice ignores all consequences. An impulsive move not only breaks commitments and lacks preparation, it also comes with huge financial consequences that prevent the person from attaining the happiness they thought they would be guaranteed to achieve once they arrived in their new state. Instant gratification may have given the person what they wanted, but it's a skeleton of the experience they thought they would have due to rash decision making. A planned out step-by-step move may take a bit longer, but it ensures that commitments are honored, plans are in place, and breathing room is given in order to have a fulfilling, enjoyable experience once the person arrives in their new home. The soul knows that the new state calls to them, and that they will get there once they are fully ready.
In short, ego (anxiety) and soul (intuition) are not completely "either or." Both exist and both are valid, as they both highlight an inner knowing. But one is present and the other is rushed. To live by the soul is to live in the present. Nothing in this world needs to be as rushed as we think. The reason why so many of us lack purpose and feel out of alignment, is because we make our life choices based on our anxiety telling us we have to move faster, be better and have more. We rarely stop to think about our intentions behind our choices, or the consequences of decisions that are made impulsively. So often, we lean so heavily into a state of anxiety that we end up living based on illusions and thoughts that are solely intrusive. The next time you feel a pull in your body for change, instead of thinking about how you can leap toward it right away, try to think about why you feel called to change before doing anything at all. Just sit with the feeling. Once you know the reason for the change and can see the big picture, break the big picture down into smaller steps. What is one thing you can do right now that gets you one step closer to your desired out come? That's all you need to get to where you want to be.
The soul is the tortoise, the ego is the hare.
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